The Steps Towards a (somewhat) Refreshed Lifestyle
“We are responsible for experiences that aren’t our fault all the time.” - Mark Manson
This was a discovery that I only recently made when examining all of the things that were, honestly, not in the best condition in my life. My diet was horrendous, attention span and work ethic on a decline, my emotional and relational wellbeing, all of it was not where it is now and (probably still) not where it needed to be.
I’d hate to be that guy and stand on a really high mountain top and shout “you’re all doing it wrong!” because I’d be a pretty shallow person, wouldn’t I? As with anything, it’s not about doing anything perfectly but instead to get closer and closer to the root of your issues and figuring out how you can best circumvent them.
With that being said, here are just a couple of brief points that I want to talk about that have helped lately, and maybe they’ll be universal or completely situational, who knows, let’s find out!
Take control of your free time.
I will be the first to say that I love my friends, family, and loved ones so so much! But there are instances where I feel that I’m better off spending just a little bit of my time on my own, either to sit with my emotions after stressful events or just to indulge in self-fulfilling habits. Not to say that these are impossible to do with people around, far from it, but the more comfortable you feel just being with yourself for a bit, the better you’ll be at managing your time with and without people.
Discipline yourself (within reason).
Give or take, I’ve lost about 30 lbs since the end of 2022, and even though there are tons of factors that directly contributed to that, the overarching theme of this stage in my life is discipline. You simply cannot rely on other people to change you, you need to do it to yourself.
What can this include, you might be asking? If you’re trying to, say, change your diet, stop buying things that you know you probably shouldn’t eat. Sounds a lot easier than it sounds, but I’ll provide a quick anecdote: my reactions to dairy and lactose have gotten worse over the years, but because so many of the foods I loved to eat always included it, there was really no hope that my symptoms would improve. When I made the conscious, long-term decision to quit cold turkey and remove as much dairy from my diet as possible, it made it much harder to justify eating things that were actively destroying what I tried to build. Who orders a pizza without cheese, for example?
(Because eating and dieting is a sensitive topic and I’m not an expert at all, I would recommend doing personal research or consulting a professional to see what would work best for you!)
Get away from things that serve you no purpose.
Have relationships that feel one-sided? Piles of clothes that you’ve never even thought of wearing? Committed to too many school clubs, none of which giving you any joy? Are you watching too many YouTube videos instead of doing your homework?
They say distance only makes the heart grow fonder. I believe this is true, but let’s take it a step further; the longer you go without something, the more clarity you’ll have about whether or not you need it.
I’m not saying to ghost your mom or anything like that. Rather, prioritize the truly beneficial parts of your life over the more expendable ones. Maybe your larger friend group is toxic and you don’t have a lot of fun being around them, but you know one or two other friends that you haven’t called in a while and always give you a good laugh. You’re not a fashion guru (and neither am I) but it might be worth a shot to take a day and go through outfits that you look good in, and see what pieces you might be able to sell or donate. Reevaluate your schedule and make sure that you’re enjoying as many hours of your day as possible. Maybe set up a screen time limit for your social media indulgence so you can keep track of what your spend your time actually doing.
TL;DR (do people still say that?)
It’s not going to be easy to change your mindset nor am I implying that I’m the best person to give advice nor am I encouraging you to drop everything and start over from scratch. Often times, hearing too much information from too many sources can make you feel like you’re never really gonna get anywhere in life. But trust me, as with most things, even a little bit at a time will help alleviate some of your worries and show you what the good place can actually be IF you commit to things long-term. I still refuse to eat vegetables with any of my meals, but that’s something that I know I can work towards, so I’m excited for it! (not really)
So, if you find joy in progress, make progress towards finding your joy!
Signing off,
sam jenkins